Belonging

📅 23 Dec 2021

Well, the year is almost over which means I’ve been on Fosstodon for nearly a year.

This past year has been one of seemingly endless change. I made a move across the US, started two blogs, moved again, started a new job, and started a company. I picked up a handful of new hobbies, started more projects than I can count (finished some of them), lost over 20 pounds, battled a nagging foot injury, watched over 300 films, and drank a lot of coffee.

Technology also became a much bigger part of my life. With starting two blogs and being a somewhat active member on Fosstodon, I have spent a lot of time chatting, learning, and coding. Most of this has been time well spent.

Recently in the past few weeks though, I have started to get more connected to my local community. This has forced me to reflect on my use of technology to stay connected. Do I spend all of my time online and shun in-person community? As an introvert, that would be very comfortable for me to do. Or, now that I am meeting cool people around me, do I completely eliminate all of my time spent online?

I believe my answer is somewhere in-between.

A sense of belonging is really important for me. I have struggled my whole life with feeling connected, constantly frustrated by the process of picking up and moving every few years, knowing full well that I am leaving relationships behind. Some of those relationships have stood the test of time. Others I let slowly fade away. Still others end as abruptly as they began.

With my most recent move, I sense something different. Not only am I no longer required to move every few years but I feel very comfortable in saying that I may have found my long-term home. I may move around my town a few times but I don’t see myself leaving any time soon.

I believe this gives me more room to let relationships come and go as they naturally do. I have now met some great people in my area but I don’t have to rush.

In terms of my belonging online, I also think it gives me more room to explore more active contribution. I don’t feel rushed to get out and meet people so I can settle in to some good projects knowing that I most likely have years and years to meet people. That’s not me trying to take life for granted - that’s me hoping for the best. Have I mentioned that I’m notoriously bad at that?

Technology is not going away. And I have no interest in moving to a mountain cabin and never talking to anyone again. That’s a bit of a lie as part of me thinks about that all the time. However, that would not be a healthy existence for me or give me the freedom to accomplish long-term goals.

There is new talk every day about how social media is either the greatest thing since sliced bread or it is killing all of us. As much as I lean toward the latter, I think it has a role to play in our world. I have been pretty good at identifying when I need to get out and talk to people. I also try to avoid reading crap online that I know is either most likely wrong or isn’t healthy to explore. Hopefully no need to elaborate. If technology, and more specifically, social media’s goal is to completely supplant any in-person human interaction, I want no part of it.

I have a lot of goals in 2022. I’m sure I’ll write about them soon. This post might become part of a series of posts on how I will use 2021 to help me shape 2022.

Long story short: technology will continue to play a big role in my life. But I don’t need technology to feel a sense of belonging. I enjoy getting out to meet people even as introverted as I am. However, I also love the things technology has enabled me to accomplish, especially meeting some great people online. We’ll see what kind of balance I can achieve in 2022.

💬 Looking for comments?